I spent most of my adult life letting others dictate how I felt about myself. I’ve gone to extremes to change my appearance to receive affirmation from others. I wouldn’t part my hair in the center because someone told me my nose was too big (and I read in a magazine this would draw attention to it), I wouldn’t wear shorts because someone said my legs were too skinny and out of shape. Even after successfully completing two college degrees, I let my then- significant other convince me I would never be capable of holding down a full- time job.
What could have stopped these comments from penetrating into the depths of my soul?
An unshakeable self-worth would have created an unseen forcefield.
With a strong sense of self- worth, what other’s think of you is simply that- what other’s think of you. It does not have power over you and cannot change how you feel about yourself. I think back to the way comments hit so hard, how I would do anything to modify the comment’s target — be it a physical attribute or character trait. I had to prove to them (and myself) that it wasn’t true. I lived in a world where I spent the majority of my time focusing on the five percent of the population around me that had something negative to say to or about me. I was justifying my every move, how I looked, and fishing for compliments from others to falsely inflate my low self-esteem.